Lily's Arrival

Be prepared for a long, honest read! I don't intend to scare anyone either but have decided to not censor my story. I want to remember this story, my story, Lily's story.

   Saturday night, August 3rd, I tried to go to bed early in hopes of avoiding another night of insomnia. Yet again my drowsiness suddenly vanished at 10pm so I wandered over to Tim for sympathy. Instead I got to watch Netflix for a little while before Tim was ready to go to bed. He did end up snuggling with me because he loves me. We finally were settling in for the night around 2am [when he usually starts getting ready for bed after work] and Spencer woke up crying. i grabbed his cup on the way to his room. As I picked him up a contraction started. That was definitely an odd time haha. I ended up squatting while holding him and stuck him back in bed right afterwards. He happily went back to bed so I headed back to our room. Another contraction hit me a couple minutes after climbing into bed. You would think that I'd be super excited right away, but throughout the week I had several instances of contractions starting but being irregular and dying off after an hour or two. While hopeful I thought that it'd be best to just go to sleep and wait to wake up to more contractions or nothing.
    Suddenly the thought hit me that I could stay up and see if I could encourage the contractions to stick around. Technically it wouldn't have mattered if it wasn't time [I witnessed that earlier in the week] but the thought made me feel better. I used some acupressure points and went through my yoga birthing sequence. After 45 minutes I realized that the contractions kept coming and were about 5 minutes apart! I woke Tim up once it got to an hour especially because they were then coming a little closer together and lasting a little longer. I knew this was it! Tim asked for another half hour of sleep. I told him no because we knew that I was already at least 4cm dilated and 80% effaced since that's where I was at my appointment on Tuesday. We still had to finish packing bags, drop Spencer off, and get to the hospital. Spencer was so happy and excited to go spend the rest of the night at Grandma's house. He happily sent us on our way to have his baby sister!
     We got to the hospital around 4:15am and I was at 6cm! I was quickly admitted and got my saline lock iv. I really wanted to go 'all natural' this time around and the nurses were happy to support me. In fact they were slightly shocked that I was at 6cm since I was happy and talkative. I was just so excited that we would finally get to meet our little girl!! Knowing that I was already at 6cm boosted my confidence since this is the downhill side of labor. I decided to not even pre-sign the consent form for an epidural. This time I had prepared lots [I honestly read about every book out there which I thought would be helpful] and found a groove that was working for me. I still felt the contractions but was able to relax and let my body do its work. Being more relaxed made a stark contrast to my labor with Spencer when I would tense and fight the contractions which amplified the pain.

So much paperwork

      Tim walked the halls with me since a change of scene helped me feel more comfortable. As we walked we would talk, look at the babies in the nursery, and laugh together. Whenever a contraction would start I would squat down, hold his hands, close my eyes, breathe very relaxed, and imagine my cervix opening. After 40 minutes I would have to go back to the room to be monitored for a little while. The nurses had a hard time getting the monitors to stay on because of the shape of my belly. I ended up helping hold them on because I wanted back out of the bed. But while in the bed I found that the most comfortable position for me was sitting in the butterfly pose.

Walking the halls with my

"It's baby day!" face

     At 7:45am I was checked again and was at 8cm. They decided to page my doctor so that he could deliver Lily if he was in town. He quickly made way to the hospital so excited for us. The next time I was hooked to the monitors my nurse mentioned to page her if I felt the urge to push or my water broke. The minute after she stepped out of the room I suddenly felt a bunch of warm liquid piling up underneath me. "Tim, I either just peed myself... or my water broke," was what came flying out of my mouth. He paged my nurse and she came rushing back in. I was still at 8cm and Tim and I discussed how maybe she would get here before lunchtime. My nurse, Stephanie, just laughed and shook her head. Tim asked her why not and she said that we wouldn't even make it to 10am before having a baby.

Ready for baby Lily!

    That's when things changed... or didn't. Stephanie checked me an hour later when I still hadn't felt any pressure or urge to push only to discover that I was still at 8cm. We decided to go walking the halls again. I was still happy and smiley in between contractions and one of the nurses commented that there was no way I was in labor. Oh if only she knew!! We went back to be monitored and I was still at 8cm... Stephanie started doing everything that she could think of to get me to progress. I went hands and knees on the bed for a little while, bounced on a birthing ball, and was going to take a warm shower. Stephanie ended up having Dr. Tutt come in to see if Lily was facing the right way because she couldn't quite tell. He had to push on my belly to move her down and decided that she seemed to be facing the right way. He came to the conclusion that my contractions just may not be strong enough to finish dilating so Pitocin was started [which meant constant monitoring].

Middle of a contraction on the birth ball

     Around 2pm Stephanie decided that we needed to nap. She lowered my bed and brought in a peanut ball to go between my legs. I started crying out of frustration, hunger, and tiredness. I was supposed to be snuggling my baby already and having Spencer come visit! Who gets stuck at 8cm?! And while apple juice, water, and popsicles helped abide my hunger that morning it just wasn't enough anymore. While crying, I dozed off into a nap. Tim only rested on the couch once reassured that he'd be woken up for anything. I still somewhat woke up for contractions [since I still was managing without pain medicine or an epidural]. I woke up maybe an hour later and was still 8cm dilated...
    I switched which side I was lying on for the peanut ball. A few minutes later back labor started. Oh was it evil!! Tim was quick to react and kept constant pressure wherever I asked on my back. Those contractions were difficult. I ended up shaking constantly and resorted to self-talk to keep my doubts at bay. At one point I even told Tim, "I hate you right now. But I really do love you." Stephanie encouraged me, saying that this was a good sign that labor should be progressing again. The back labor must be there because she was facing the wrong way and is finally turning. I remember that during this time I even asked Tim if I could have In-N-Out if they were still open when she was finally born. He promised me that I could have whatever I wanted once she was here because I was doing amazingly. After a short while they decided to give me a break and let me switch sides. The back labor stopped and my contractions died down so I asked to be go back to my other side. After 8 hours [yes, 8 hours!] of being 8cm dilated, I finally made it to 9cm! However it was taking awhile to get past the 9cm mark.

Me dealing with back labor. Tim wasn't away 

for very long since this was between contractions

and still hurt like crazy.

    At 6pm, one hour before shift change, Stephanie came in with a 'last resort' idea to get me to complete. She helped stretch my cervix over Lily's head with her fingers while I was to softly push during contractions. That felt like a relief and I wanted to push harder but obeyed. After two contractions she stopped and told me to breathe through the next two contractions without pushing. That was difficult for me and I quickly asked her to come back after only two contractions. She stretched my cervix again and during the second contraction Lily's head pushed past my cervix. I was finally 10cm dilated and ready to push my baby out!!! Feeling her head push past my cervix felt like such a relief, like the end was in sight. Well it felt better until just after when it didn't. Tim laughs at the fact that I then exclaimed, "That doesn't feel better at all!"
   Dr. Tutt came into the room in less than a minute and I was allowed to go. The contractions felt much stronger and painful which I am sure was largely due to the pitocin and possibly also due to being tired. I remembered reading about women being able to 'breathe the baby down' which had sounded like something I wanted to try. Well I will admit that what I felt made me much more encouraged to push than to ride the contractions out. I knew the end was finally in sight. With each contraction I pushed as long and hard as I possibly could. Each contraction started with a somewhat calm, determined push. Each subsequent push involved me screaming, really loudly. I felt like I was 'stuck between a rock and a hard place' because the contractions were so bad and relieved by pushing but while pushing I could feel my skin stretching and tearing. Within three contractions my little girl made her way down the birth canal and out of me. When her head was out the doctor and nurses told me to look at my baby. I tried to look down and see but my belly was too big. When I told them that I couldn't see they lifted her head and I responded, "I can't see!".
    Once she was out, at 6:30pm exactly, I saw her then purple little body and knew she was our baby even though she looked different from Spencer [seems silly but that's what I thought]. The pain was far from my mind and I knew that she was completely worth that short-lived pain. Tim almost started to cry out of happiness and pride. I quickly reached for her and immediately starting talking to her. I was amazed at how quickly she calmed down on my chest. Once she knew that I was holding her she laid her head down and stopped crying. Everything quickly became a blur and I was focused on my Lily. I quickly whispered about how I had been upset that she took so long but that she's already forgiven and I love her so much. Tim was able to cut her cord and was asking to hold her. I thought about it but never did give her up at that point. I remember that Stephanie quickly made Tim order dinner for me from the cafeteria since they were getting ready to close. Dr. Tutt was stitching up my tear for awhile but I don't remember much more than getting numbed. At some point I also decided to see if Lily wanted to eat and she latched on right away. I also remember my nurse commenting that she must have been facing the wrong way for awhile since there's a small bruise on her face. I remember gazing at Lily's black hair, pointing out her daddy's eyes and hair, and double checking her feet myself.

Falling in love with my Lily

    One hour after she was born the nurses were asking if I was ready for her to get her bath and eye drops but Tim was still out getting his food so I said to wait. They were a little annoyed because there's something that is typically done by one hour after birth but they also couldn't force me to do it right then and there. Once Tim got back I let him carry her over for her weight, height, bath... She weighed in at 6lbs 7oz and was 19in tall. If she had waited for her due date then she very well may have been the exact same as Spencer [6lbs 14oz 19.25in]! Lily is perfectly healthy with no birth defects to report. All of us are in love!

Official scale reading

Getting all cleaned up

Her hair still was covered with vernix

after two washings!!

I can't help but love her