Welcome to Ecuaco: Alta Johnson, 04/13/1917

01/31/2012

Dear Ma,

I had planned to write this earlier yet I never brought myself to actually do so until now. Even now I'm not sure what exactly to say. People have asked me if your death was unexpected. That one is hard for me to answer since you died 3 months before your 95^th birthday. I've always wondered how much longer you would be here but you always seemed to still be perfectly healthy for your age. What threw me off was how suddenly your body gave way to your age. I'm happy that you were able to pass quickly though.

When you were admitted to the care home in October, I had hoped that you'd somehow stick around until we could at least bring Spencer up and then have my own five-generation picture. Obviously that was not meant to be. I'm pretty sure he still knows who you are. He starting moving around a lot when we were at the cemetery for the dedication of your grave. My mom thinks that maybe you two were spending some time together so he knew we were there for you.

I must admit that your funeral is the first one that I've been to for someone that I actually knew. It was quite a different experience for me. I never thought that I'd cry so much! The viewing was difficult for me, as it was for many of your family. I know that that time is designed for people to pay their last respects to you. Going up to your casket and looking down, I knew for sure that you were already gone and that time had passed. I saw your body and it looked like I remember but it wasn't you. There was nothing but an empty body there and I could sense the difference. I almost felt like someone had put a wax body inside of your casket. The feeling of you not being there makes sense though. You're already with Jesus, Poppy, and many other family members that you know. It really was just your body, not you, in the casket.

I've always seen you as a strong woman in my family. I never quite realized how strong until all of the stories that were shared about you. I never thought about the times you grew up in: The Great Depression, having your husband drafted for WWII, and many others. I knew that you've been widowed for a long time since Poppy died, but I never knew just how long. You two were apart for almost 45 years and your love was still very strong. I love that you kept a picture of him on your mirror to look at everyday. Knowing that you two get to be together again is so comforting to me. I know that I would miss Tim very much if I was in your shoes. I bet that he was eagerly waiting for you with a big hug.

I heard someone say that you had said that you were born on Friday the 13^th, so you were going to die on Friday the 13^th. I suppose you didn't want to wait for your exact birthday either though since that would've been one too. I think I can understand why you didn't want to wait. Ma, you have lots of family left here that your life impacted quite a bit even though you may not have thought so. I met so many cousins of some sort and yet it wasn't all of them.

Love,

Adriana